Gushinga urugo ni umwe mu myanzuro ikomeye umuntu afata mu buzima. Mu Rwanda no mu bindi bihugu byinshi, ubukwe bufatwa nk’intambwe iganisha ku muryango uhamye. Nubwo benshi bashyingiranwa bafite icyizere cyo kubana ubuziraherezo, hari imiryango imwe ihura n’ibibazo bikomeye bishobora kuyisenya. Ibi bituma hibazwa impamvu zituma urugo rumwe ruramba mu gihe urundi rusenyuka.
Ubushakashatsi bwiswe Global Study on Marital Satisfaction, bwakorewe ku bantu 7,178 bo mu bihugu 33, bugaragaza ibintu by’ingenzi bifasha abashakanye kubaka urugo rurambye. Ibyo bishingiye ku mibereho, imyumvire n’imikoranire hagati y’abashakanye.
Imyaka n’uburambe mu buzima
Ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko imyaka y’abashakanye igira uruhare mu mibanire yabo. Abantu bashyingirwa bamaze gukura mu bitekerezo bakunda gusobanukirwa neza inshingano zo kubaka urugo. Bafata ibyemezo batuje kandi bakemura ibibazo badahubuka. Ibi bituma bagabanya amakimbirane ashobora gusenya umuryango.
Uruhare rw’uburezi
Urwego rw’uburezi rufasha abashakanye kumva neza inshingano zabo. Abize bagira ubumenyi bubafasha kuganira no gukemura ibibazo mu mahoro. Biga kumva no kubaha mugenzi wabo, bigatuma ubuzima bwa buri munsi burushaho kugenda neza.
Ubukungu n’ituze mu rugo
Ubukungu bw’umuryango bugira uruhare mu mahoro yo mu rugo. Iyo abashakanye bafite ubushobozi bwo kwitunga, bagabanya impamvu z’amakimbirane ashingiye ku mafaranga. Nubwo ubukene butavuze ko urugo rudashobora kuramba, ibibazo by’amikoro bikunze guteza umwuka mubi mu mibanire.
Kuganira nk’uburyo bwo gukemura ibibazo
Umushakashatsi John Gottman agaragaza ko uburyo abashakanye baganira ari ingenzi kurusha ibibazo ubwabyo. Mu gitabo cye The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, asobanura ko imiryango iramba ari iy’abashakanye baganira kenshi kandi bubahana. Itumanaho rinoze rifasha kumenya ibitekerezo n’amarangamutima ya buri wese.
Indangagaciro n’imyemerere bihuriweho
Abashakanye bahuje indangagaciro n’imyemerere bagira amahirwe menshi yo kubaka urugo rukomeye. Iyo bafite intego imwe ku buzima, bibafasha gufata ibyemezo bihamye. Ubumwe mu bitekerezo butuma bagendera ku murongo umwe mu kubaka ejo hazaza h’umuryango.
Kumvana no kugaragarizanya urukundo
Umuhanga Gary Chapman asobanura ko kumenya uburyo mugenzi wawe yumva urukundo ari ingenzi. Mu gitabo The Five Love Languages, agaragaza ko abashakanye bagomba kumenya uko bagaragaza urukundo mu buryo bumvikana kuri buri umwe. Ibi bituma urukundo rukura kandi rukaramba.
Mu Rwanda, impinduka mu mibereho n’ubukungu zigira ingaruka ku mibanire y’abashakanye. Abantu benshi bahura n’igitutu cy’ubukungu n’imihindagurikire y’imibereho. Ibi bisaba ko abashakanye bongera imbaraga mu kuganira no gufatanya gukemura ibibazo.
Hari amahirwe yo kongera kubaka imiryango ikomeye binyuze mu mahugurwa y’ubuzima bw’umuryango, inama z’abahanga ndetse n’imiryango ifasha abashakanye. Ibi bishobora kugabanya amakimbirane no kongera umutekano w’umuryango.
Iyo abashakanye batita ku bintu by’ingenzi nko kuganira, ubukungu n’indangagaciro, urugo rushobora guhura n’ibibazo bikomeye. Ariko iyo bubakiye ku bwubahane, ubwizerane no gufatanya, bagira amahirwe menshi yo kubaka urugo rurambye.
Abahanga bagaragaza ko uburezi ku mibanire n’ubujyanama bigira uruhare runini mu gufasha imiryango kubaho neza. Abashakanye bazasabwa gufata urukundo nk’inshingano isaba imbaraga, aho kuba amarangamutima gusa.
Urugo rurambye ntirushingira ku rukundo gusa. Rusaba kumvikana, kwihangana no gukorera hamwe buri munsi. Iyo ibyo byubahirijwe, amahirwe yo kubaka umuryango uhamye ariyongera.